This body map was created by six high-school aged caregiving youth who have been receiving support from the Caregiving Youth Project of Palm Beach County.
At a youth leadership retreat, caregiving youth were asked the question: "What is caregiving like to you?" and asked to write or draw on their own body map. The group then created a body map that represented shared experiences. Each caregivers' journey is unique, but the group had many experiences in common.
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Caregiving can be stressful, as well as emotionally and physically draining. It can be hard to concentrate with so much on your mind. It can also be hard to find opportunities to feel like a kid and to just have fun. It is not easy being a caregiver but we feel it is our obligation to help family members who are ill or disabled and need care. Despite the difficulties, caregiving also opens you up and you can grow as a person. By drawing on internal strength and getting support from others, including peers and staff at the Caregiving Youth Project, we are finding ways to deal with the stresses we face. We think we will be better prepared for adulthood than other kids our age because we've already "had a taste of the lows" that life has to offer. We know how to take care of others and how to "make something out of nothing" when money is tight and times are tough. |
Some children help look after someone in their family by:
* Staying in the house a lot to be there for them.
* Helping them to get up, get washed or get dressed.
* Doing lots of the household chores like shopping, cleaning, cooking . . . and maybe looking after younger brothers and sisters as well.
For many families, this seems like the only option – you may be a single parent family with no relatives living nearby, or a two parent family but one of you works long hours. If you feel that your children are taking on more of a caring role than you would like, there are two things you can do to help – click on the links to find out, or email us with a question.
“We’re working in the dark, trying to deal with our feelings, feeling guilty for relying on our children. You know they’re not responsible for you but they feel they are. You know they’re angry and there’s nowhere for them to go to before it develops. The anger festers until it gets too much and it explodes. You can hear the desperation with professionals - that they haven’t got the resources - but they’re so defensive. The door closes against you and you will never go and knock again. My doctor said to my child ‘Look after mummy, you’re the healthiest one in the family’. We need more than recognition. We need understanding.”
“Everyone always asks how I am. Ask about my child.” “Services should provide all the help at their disposal, to help children to be children and not have to grow up before their time by taking on an adult’s responsibility. They are children for such a short time and an adult forever.” West Sussex disabled parents and carers, November 2001
Being a young carer can affect a young person’s education as:
* They may feel they have to take time off school.
* They may feel tired or stressed.
* They may stay in to be there for someone when others are going out and socializing because they worry about someone while they’re out.
Get the help that you are entitled to.
Many people are afraid of asking for help. You might be worried that services might try to interfere. Many parents don’t get all of the help and benefits that they are entitled to. Getting help can feel like a risk, but it might be the only way to make life easier for you and your family. You might feel more confident getting help from a service or organisation by first asking them:
Perspectives on Caregiving Youth
Connie Siskowski, RN, PhD
October, 2004
"I've learned what it must be like to have a baby" a ninth grade honors student living in Delray Beach, Florida responded when asked what she has learned from her experiences in caring for her grandmother. She and her older sister agreed. And, the sister went on to say that she has learned to be responsible. She knows that her grandmother, who lives with her family, doesn't know when she is hungry and it's time for her to eat; so her granddaughter keeps track of the time, prepares her meal, and assists her with eating to makes sure she gets the nourishment she needs. Her grandmother is thin and in constant motion as she walks around the locked home, spending much energy and burning many calories.
All disabled parents have a right to the support they need, so that no one has to rely on the caring role of a child. But many parents tell us that they are not being given the right support. We want this to change
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